Entry #74

I realised during my recent home time with Covid that I want to be a writer. Here are my reasons:

- I like writing

- I like avoiding talking to people, I like writing about them instead

- I like books

- I do like talking to some people, especially about books

- I am never short of ideas

- I tick the “eccentric” box quite naturally

- I like being at home

I had two further realisations that were helpful.

1. I have wanted to be a writer for a very long time. It’s a memory from primary school, when literacy became a tool at my disposal. This felt relevant.

2. I am already a writer. I have been published for my fiction and non-fiction writing. I won a small prize in 2021.

I can’t tell you how profound it was to just notice that. I would like to be a writer... but I already am.

The familiar desire for something more, some sense of dissatisfaction... just evaporated. The journey is over.

It really helped me manage the next inevitable line of babble, “but Michelle you’re not earning money from writing, this is like a hobby, you’ve got to figure out how to take it to the next level to REALLY be a writer”.

But I don’t. I am a writer. The destination is on my left.

Phew!

Is there something you think you’re not, that you already are? Is there a way to gently notice what you are that you dearly want to be?

That is all for today. As always, I look forward to hearing what you heard, saw and felt when reading this.

With love,

Michelle xx

You can read most of my writing here https://www.michellehowie.com/blog/

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Friday Flow | Michelle Howie

When FOMO just goes away