Entry #61
We live with complexities and simplicities that are easily confused.
The importance of our material, physical reality is deceptively convincing, it looks like something to safeguard and manage.
Same goes for our beliefs, values and moral positions - they look real too. And in need of our attention and maintenance.
What a lot of work - especially for the cerebral, head-dwellers out there, i.e. me.
The soul (to me) feels like this thin veil between our physical, psychological and spiritual selves. It’s prone to wrinkles and creases when those ‘selves’ don’t line up and behave in congruent, convenient ways.
We like smooth, we like flat.
But of course the lines don’t always meet. And so we ‘feel’ a quiet divorce of the soul.
Examples may include not speaking up, when we know we should. Perhaps we’re just tired and something deeper within suggests we should save our energy for the laundry, or finishing our tax return.
In these moments we may feel a tiny click, like the smallest bone break you can imagine. More subtle than a gut-drop moment but still felt. The quiet divorce of the soul.
(photo credit M Howie - slice of moon rock, taken at Waikato Museum)
It would be nice to deal with everything with integrity and honour, but we rarely do, we rarely can. We move ourselves on, believing we cannot be all things to all people.
Even when our soul creases spell out ‘go this way, speak out, don’t join in’ there are times that we make a choice and ignore the words.
It’s a hard thing to see in ourselves, a pain that is commonly avoided and masked.
But there it is.
As always, I look forward to hearing what you heard, saw and felt when reading this.
With love,
Michelle xx