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Entry #57 on kids, tech and putting it all in a blender
Entry #57
My own kids do not know it is Techweek. Maybe you do not either.
Many of my adult colleagues and LinkedIn network know all about Techweek. I find this rather interesting, given that it is truly our children who will inherit the Earth and who would probably like to be soaked in knowledge about the cutting-edge tech that now exists.
I canāt make my mind up about tech in schools. There is a place for pen and paper. Oh, look. Itās a confusing topic, alright? Some days I do literally want to put it all in a blender and not have to navigate these realities.
Todayās entry is another AMA. In a beautiful stroke of serendipity (thank you Techweek), I chose this question:
āGiven all the changes happening in our world in the tech industry (metaverse, cryptocurrencies etc), how do you think as parents we are best placed to help our children navigate this world?ā
Thanks also for this question, itās a goodie.
To answer the readerās question about how to best place ourselves, my own mind goes to the simple truth that I am home for my kids. Iām in the perfect place for them, no matter what we need to navigate.
I couldnāt be better placed. I am the perfect place for them. I am home base.
I am not suggesting that home base is where everything is easy and solutions fall magically from the sky like welcome rain. No, itās messy stuff and itās OK to not have a clue about how to tackle tech. Itās important to be honest. And itās important to feel well-placed to dance through the parenting foxtrot with our kids - whether we know the steps or not. You donāt leave the dance floor even if the judges are cringeing, you gotta stay in the game.
Of course, I am home base and so is Shawn, their father. We navigate together. And our home bases are slightly different to each child, something that I notice often. Home base is this living, pulsing organism of individual and collective energy. We come together as a family and we go out into the world alone. Nothing truer than that.
We canāt cling to home forever. The kids will leave home base and need to navigate roadmaps through the world all on their own. That comes with age. That comes with guided conversations and debriefs - with a safety to communicate openly, back at home base.
Maybe this is a vague answer so far, but Iām trying to drive at the faith that parents might want to explore in their actual and real abilities to do this stuff! We can help our children navigate the tech world. We can do hard things, we got through toilet training and so much worse! The world is a vast and complex place - and within that eternal stretch, which sometimes seems exciting and other times terrifying - thereās me. Thereās Willis. Thereās Shawn and thereās Beren.
The approach that works for me (usually) is to park the vastness of the task ahead, press pause and just come back to the smallest unit of people I am in community with. Shawn and the kids. Home base. Here and now.
Home base is my biggest investment these days. Iāve spent many a year investing my time and energy differently - and Iāve seen results that I donāt feel good about.
So when it comes to navigating tech and the world of change around us, Iāll share a few of the perspectives and approaches that are part of our home base. None of this is advice, obviously. You choose your own path through this battlefield.
Iām grateful that Shawn and I are pretty much aligned on this topic, we both share a similar outlook when it comes to technology: use it for its purpose, but be wary of becoming enslaved to it. Iād say weāre skeptical about the value of tech for young children. As with sugar and processed foods, weāve delayed and avoided the inevitable for as long as possible. Easy strategy with a one year old, harder with a nine year old.
The photo below is provocative and our kids are nine and 11 now, but we try not to allow too much of this ā¬ļø
Photo by Harrison Haines:
Youāve probably guessed it, we limit screens and devices quite a lot for the boys. This only serves to make the time we do permit a hugely fought over commodity. Sigh. It is a work in progress. However, it is nice to see that what we do prioritise (home life, play, chores, cooking, chatting, being social) is a source of strength in our family.
I guess I take the lead with this stuff most of the time. Shawn backs me 100%.
We donāt have a tablet or iPad for the kids, we donāt download a lot of games. I wonāt let them play Fortnite and they hate me for this. Iām a horrible hypocrite and am often on my laptop or phone in front of them. I am not perfect. And these are not absolute rules, I am open to review cycles and revisiting decisions.
New stuff comes up, as is the case with tech, and if I donāt know how I feel about something, I buy myself time. I say things like, ālet me look into that, Iāll get back to you in a week to talk about it againā, ājust because itās right for your friendās family, it may not be right for usā etc.
We do have a PS4, which I couldnāt fight too hard about because the boys came up with an inarguable plan. They researched together and pooled their collective Christmas money to buy the console and one game in 2020 - in a Boxing Day sale, no less. God love those frugal genes!
Beren does have a cellphone, an Alcatel flip phone. He travels independently to and from school, we thought a means of communication could be a good thing.
As for the metaverse and cryptocurrency, I donāt think they have a clue about it. I donāt understand it all myself. I see them as optional areas of interest, not a certain future for us all. If and when we reach that conversation, we will dance through it together. I will buy myself time, madly research and reach out to trusted sources, then we will use home base to explore what is right for the Howies.
Work on home base, thatās the approach I like the best. And trust that you know how to dance.
I hope something in today's entry was helpful or hopeful. As always, I look forward to your emails and hearing what you heard, saw and felt when reading this.
With love,
Michelle xx