#82
I am never short of content for these Flows, but today I have to interrupt our usual scheduling to tell you about my (no exaggeration) LIFE-CHANGING week.
The prelude to such a huge week was quite a bit of sharing on LinkedIn about my eclectic business strategy (i.e. none) and how I would love a mentor but how can you find one when you don’t know what you want to be, or do? I blame Lizzie Davidson for most of this. But I also owe her a big dose of thanks, because due to all my story-telling and gut-spilling a wonderful woman commented on a post and offered me a book loan.
A life-changing book loan.
Then, this amazing woman (who I have not yet met in person) dropped it TO MY FRONT DOOR on a Sunday. A Sunday! Ever heard of a more potent signal from the universe?!
Here’s the book.
I have almost cried so many times and I’m only up to page 44. Barbara Sher gets me.
Even the back of the book makes me cry.
“Sher has become famous for her ability to help people define and achieve their goals. Sher has discovered that some individuals simply cannot, and should not, decide on a single path; they are genetically wired to pursue many areas.
Does this sound like you? If so, you may be a ‘scanner’ - your unique type of mind does not zero in on a single interest but rather scans the horizon, eager to explore everything you see.
Because your behaviour may be unfamiliar - even unsettling - to others, you may have been told that you’re doing something wrong and must decide on one path.
But this advice has been a big mistake. What you’ve been told is a disability us actually an exceptional gift.”
Lots of my life now makes so much sense. I can make a lot more sense of the recent past too - particularly the word ‘spaghetti’ that Stacey Davidson and I used so many times to describe the insane amount of things I am both interested in and can do quite well.
I am a scanner for sure, but in my own words, I am a spaghetti-head.
My work is to embrace the spaghetti, make peace with it. I see that now. And that book title - how good?! I do refuse, I resist, I stubbornly can’t settle - or feel very miserable when I force myself to try it for a while. And I don’t have to choose, I can be a tangled bowl of spaghetti - or, as I have been picturing it some nights, a slippery Mobius strip of entwined pasta that makes perfect sense.
So on Tuesday I made carbonara for dinner. Beren came home from rugby training in the dark and just about kissed me to see this steaming pile of carbs for dinner.
Barbara has a lot of homework for me to complete. I will do it with commitment and relish, so I’m sure you’ll hear a fair bit more about spaghetti and how I am grappling with this new identity clue that has eluded me for 43 years.
I do want to stress that no other personality quiz, career aptitude assessment or TED talk has ever made me feel so seen and understood. Emilie Wapnick came close with multipotentialite, but not all the way. If any of this is clicking for you - check out Barbara talking about scanners here on her YouTube channel. Sadly, she died in 2020.
Have you ever had an experience like this? Do tell.
That is all for today. As always, I look forward to hearing what you heard, saw and felt when reading this.
With love,
Michelle xx
ps. I will take this wonderful book loaner out for a slap-up lunch and probably cry when I meet her in person. She will also receive a copy of the entry to know her immediate impact on my life.
pps. on the topic of books, I have hardly slept this week thanks to Melissa Gibson’s recommendation of the new Barbara Kingsolver book. Another Barbara, huh! Melissa writes about great books here and her recommendations are good. Demon Copperhead is keeping me very awake. We’re talking can’t fall asleep til midnight, or awoke at 1am and read until 5am. This is unusual for me, this is an unusual book - I love it so much.
It’s such a good one. I’ve got such an exciting pile of books sitting next to bed at the moment. If someone could just pay me to read books, that would be awesome 🤩
Thanks for the shout out! I’m sorry I’m contributing to a lack of sleep 🤣
Glad you’ve found so much clarity with a book!